Friday, November 2, 2012
Joshua, Jaime, Amelia, Brandon, Luke, and Matthew
Precious children each and every one, but would there be more, could there be more. Emily wanted more but knew in her heart that wasn't the best. The Lord blessed her with 6 perfect children but at 39 she knew even thinking that way was pure silliness. She had been lucky to bring 6 babies into this world and only not bring 1, many of her friends were struggling to have more than 2 children. She felt selfish and petty even thinking another baby would happen.
Would a baby fill the void she was feeling, was that the missing piece?
As she woke noticing the sun was just beginning to come up, she held off getting out of bed, Josiah would wake soon and she was feeling a little off this morning. She tried to put the uneasy feeling out of her mind and moved her attention to her wonderful husband who was starting to move about and waking up.
Josiah rolled over and opening his eyes gave Emily a rough guy smile warming her heart, she smiled back matching his tone with what should have been a young girls smile instead it looked more like a twisted ____.
"Are you all right Emily? The look on her face told Josiah something was off.
"Not really, excuse me...." Emily got out of bed and made her way to the bathroom with a awful case of the drive heaves.
"Can I get you something? a cup of tea or a glass of water?" Josiah was up and standing just outside the door.
"a glass for water and a new towel from the closet would be wonderful." She tried to keep teh conversation light while in her head the battle began.
1,481 of 50,000 words for NaNo2012
Thursday, November 1, 2012
On an autumn afternoon not so long ago, Emily Ann and Josiah David joined hands in front of their closets friends and family.
As she remembered back to that day bits and pieces of their vows rang in her mind. '..and the two shall become One; One in spirit seeking God's perfect union as Man and Wife..' Such sweet words spoken to them as a young couple; now almost 20 years later she was struggling and could not put her finger on any one things that was bothering her, she was in happy in her marriage, but something was missing and she was desperate to find that missing piece before her children or her husband become effected by this cloud.
"Em?" Josiah's voice brought her abrutly back to reality. "you feeling alight?"
"fine, why?" she hoped he didn't sense her anxiety.
"You usually have dinner ready by 6:00 and it is almost 6:30. Can I ask the girls to help do something ?"
"Oh my gracious, where is my head, I'll get it on the table soon. I'm sorry darling."
He reached out and gently grabbed her waist, "Emily, talk to me, what is wrong?"
"Guess I was daydreaming , I just lost track of time, I'm sorry dear" Emily was a pitiful liar but Josiah also knew not to push to hard or she would just shut him out.
"Come here darling" his voice was so calming to her anxious heart, " you know I love you with all my heart, even more than the day I married you, what if I ask Julianne to come stay with the children for a while and we take a short trip just the two of us."
"in the middle of the growing season? Who will take care of the crops? What if something happens to the animals?"
"it will be fine for a few days, the boys can take care of the crops and nothing will happen to the animals, it will be fine. I'm more concerned about you than anything else, sweet Emily" He drew her in closer, wrapping his strong arms around her as if protecting her, from what he wasn't sure, but he knew his wife needed him.
"Mama, I'll make dinner." Jaime Anne eagerly offered to help, "you go rest, maybe read a bit. Papa is soup ok?"
"Sweet Jaime, soup will be fine. I think I spied a loaf of Mama's wonderful bread on the end of the counter, lets have some of that with it." Smiling at his oldest daughter with gratitude he turned back to Emily with care and concern. "since Jaime has dinner under control, you go sit and rest for a while. How about a cup of tea? I'm sure Amelia can but a pot on for some tea?"
"No Thank you, but a glass of water would do fine." Her thoughts all seemed jumbled and fighting with each other for control in her mind, something had to give.
Settingling into the rocker near the fireplace Emily sat quietyly reading from the book of Isaiah with an open heart looking for answers. Josiah quietly sat on the couch across from her just watching his wife's face as she read. As he watched her read, his desire to comfort her overcame him. He loved this woman even more than the day they met. What seemed like only yesterday to him was almost 25 years ago at a church picnic. His family had just moved to the county and he was eager to meet people his age rather than the children that had been so predominate where he came from. At 20 he knew it was time for him to settle down and start his own farm and family. Emily Anne was the first young lady he met at the social and he knew the second he laid eyes on her , she was the one for him. She was simple but beautiful with long auburn hair, deep brown eyes, and a fair complexion. Most the young men looked past her as she wasn't as slender as most of the girls, Josiah on the other hand saw the strength in her. She was soft and gentle as she helped the younger children get their plates set on the tables. She was a natural with children, not showing any signs of wearyness, but only of love and sincerity.
Now the woman , his beautiful wife showed signs of weakness and of a broken spirit. He longed to bring back that beautiful spirit, 'oh Lord, help me comfort her, help me guide her back to the light that is your love" he silently prayed.
"Supper's ready." Jaime called from the kitchen.
"Oh good, I'm starving" Josiah smiled at his daughters as he entered the dinning room.
"me too" squealed Matthew the 3 year old and youngest of the children.
"Is mama coming to the table?" Amelia questioned her Father.
"I don't think so Amy, Jaime can you take you Mother a small bowl of soup."
"Yes, sir" Jaime's quiet demeanor and willingness to help was a welcomed relief this evening.
"Thank you Father for the blessing of this food and for the hands that prepared it." Josiah gave his children a gentle nod and they began to eat. Vegetable soup with salted beef was a wonderful welcome dinner especially with the sweet bread freshly baked yesterday afternoon.
There was little conversation as the children finished their meal. The older children cleared the table and helped the 3 younger ones down from table and to their bedroom.
"I'll get the little ones ready for bed Papa." Amelia stepped up to take her 3 younger siblings to bed.
"Thank you Amy,"
"You don't have to do that Amy, I'll take care of it" Emily's voice interrupted Josiah as she came into the room and picked up little Matthew giving him a squeeze and a gentle kiss on his forhead"
"Mama!" Matty squealed with glee. He loved to squeal any chance he could.
"Thank you everyone for stepping in for me this evening. I am truly blessed to have you all as my family"
Josiah stood and took his wife and youngest child in his arms gently kissing her cheek and hugging them both.
As Emily took her youngest 3 children to begin their bedtime routine.
"Mama read tory." Matthew bounced around their cozy room hoping for a story before bedtime.
"of course Matty, get into bed and I will read a story to all three of you." Emily pulled a smile from the depths of her soul to comfort her children.
Matthew, Luke, and Brandon quickly pulled their night clothes on and climbed into their beds eagerly waiting for their nightly bedtime story and prayer time with their Mother.
"What story would you like to hear tonight my little ones? "
"Jonah" Luke piped up
"Jonah it is" Emily opened her Bible to the book of Jonah and began reading (and simplifing the story as she read.
1, 183 of 50,000 words
*just a note to anyone reading these posts ***ww*** indicates a WordWar, a game we play as part of NaNoWriMo,
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
I started writing, actually writing last night, but this morning I realized I don't know what my timeline is. What year are we in? Does it really matter that much this early on? Better yet can the story just be timeless?
All finite details are what drive me crazy about writing and reading.
Monday, October 29, 2012
After I wrote this initial piece she finally whispered to me , Emily.
Here long auburn hair and hazel eyes hide her true self in a cloud of comfort. She is a wife , a mother, and a caregiver. She is lost in her duty looking for herself.
She is also cautious as she has only revealed a little of herself to me so far.
Who is Emily?
Josiah was normally a quiet man , working hard on the farm and living a simple life; tonight he allowed himself to let go and savor the beauty that was his wife in this new light. He loved her in a way that he could not explain, he would do anything to make her happy, anything to fill the void that had become an ugly presence in their quiet lives.
Emily a soft spoken woman never asked for much. Tonight she left her auburn hair down and accepted the gift her husband brought into their quiet farm house. Her tears tonight flowed with release not anger or sadness, tonight it was about being the center of his world rather than just that person who cooked and took care of the children's every need. Tonight she was allowed to let go of the inhibition that seemed to control her every move.
*** I'm not sure where this goes, but I was inspired and this will become part of the project under the working title "educating Mother'****
although NaNoWriMo doesn't offically begin until Thursday this is part of my NaNo2012 project
Monday, October 15, 2012
As I am putting details together for this new project, I realize I haven't quite figured out the setting. I know it is a semi rural area, but I am not sure I want to keep it in Oregon.
One thing I know once I settle on the location I will get myself a map or at least google map it and the surrounding area.
Another thought, do you use local landmarks in your writing? Again, map it. I have read stories where landmarks are used but then the remaining scenery isn't verfied. I guess I am a stickler for details like that, even in fiction.
Friday, October 12, 2012
Who is she when she is alone?
When she is with him, just the two of them, she is quiet and needy, but to the outside world, she is a determined force in their world.
She is hiding something, but what, and whom from?
These are some of the questions I am trying to answer about my main character. She is an interesting character and only revealing bits and pieces at this point.
The cool breeze began to drift away as the sun fell below the hills. The sky became a mixed of colors like the oil painting hanging in the office. At this moment the beauty of the sunset and the crisp clean smell of the early summer air.
***this was something I started over the summer. If nothing else I like the picture***
Why is it so hard to come up with names?
I don't want the names to be cliche' but I also don't want the names to seem like they are someone from my real life. Seriously, I'm really struggling here as well as with a previous project on the character names. Usually I do ok with the heroine, but the hero always seems to give me issue.
So between plot mapping and character frustrations, this year's NaNo is getting off to an interesting start.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Or something like that.
I am playing around with an idea.
The premise goes something like this: a frustrated mom struggling to teach her children at home begins to realize she needs educating and it isn't necessarily in teaching skills, but in life, compasion and, loving.
I'm not totally sure where this will lead as the characters are just now being revealed to me. I love this part of the writing process, meeting new characters and seeing where their paths lead.
Saturday, October 6, 2012
I am crazy stoked!
Actually I am freaking out, I'm not prepared and I still have a bunch of posts to write for my regular blogs before I can go crazy and shut the rest of the world out for NaNoWriMo
If you don't know what NaNo is, well the cool icon on the top of this post sums it up, for 30 days you write the goal being 50,000 words.
For now, I have 5 character outlines to finish up , although I find my characters tend to show me who they are as I write, I also have to outline or map out the novel on paper , and finally get my notebook and note cards set aside so I have them with me all the time. I tend to write either on my laptop or with pen and paper. I hope to bring together a few ideas I have stirring around in my head and hopefully get a full story done this year.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
I need to talk to my husband again to see if we can come up with a balance, especially after the productive housework day the boys and I had. Oh the stories I could write just from homeschooling 2 boys and living in a small rural community. Here I go another tale stirring in my head.
I am going to try and do a daily prompt tomorrow but for today this is where I am and that is really all I can ask for.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Friday, June 1, 2012
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Sometimes it is hard to see the light through all the darkness surrounding an event or plan. Brei was feeling the overwhelming darkness in waiting, too many things seemed to be causing delays in this trip. She tried with everything to focus on the good of the journey, but one more delay would drive her to the edge.
"history paper, check. Math chapters done , check. Registration for next term, check. What is left?"
She looked over her lists making sure everything she needed to handle were taken care of. Thankfully she had her notes for the paper due after her trip, so she could work on the paper during her flight and the bus ride.
She was beginning to catch a glimpse of the light.
Friday, May 11, 2012
Thank you A to Z challenge for kicking my but into gear!
Thursday, April 26, 2012
“I’m heading downstairs for some coffee, want something?”
“a Passion Tea would be wonderful” Addy didn’t even look up from the script she was reading.
“ are you sure you don’t want to come with me?”
”can’t gotta get through this script before 3:00. It is going to be a long afternoon at this rate.”
Addy’s office was too dark and the afternoons spent reading scripts always put her to sleep, coffee would be a energy kick but she never could acquire a taste for it…
“One more minute, pweezzz Nannie..” his little voice pleaded with Nanny
“It is time for bed little guy.” She tried to stand strong but his big blue eyes and soft blond wispy curls made it hard to say no.
“but Bear isn’t finished playing with Joey…” he was really trying to win her over.
“ Now Bear, it is time for your young friend Joey to climb into bed,” she picked up the well loved white bear gently setting him next to the blue pillow on the white toddler bed. “There, look Joey, Bear is all ready for bed, if you climb into bed Nanny can read you both a goodnight story.”
The curly haired blue eyed toddler climbed up onto his bed, “ Goodnight Moon, Goodnight Moon” he requested with a joyful clapping.
“Goodnight Moon it is , little one” Nanny gently laid the toddler down and pulled the blue comforter over him. She pulled the glider toward his bed just enough to begin reading his favorite bedtime story.
Monday, April 23, 2012
I remember when a college professor telling us “Write what you know”. I always fought the idea.I didn’t want to write what I knew,but now I love going back and pulling from what I know to get ideas. That is just one place ideas come from. I see things in daily life of a homeschool mom that inspire an idea or a rabbit trail to explore. I also love pulling ideas from family letters and diaries, I inherited an amazing collection of letters circa 1880s between my G-G-Grandparents during his time on the railroad.
Ideas come from so many places. I love using mental graphic organizers to grow ideas or break down ideas that are just too complex.
I love using journal prompts or daily prompts online if I find myself sharing at that infamous brick wall also known as writers’ block. Sometimes a looming deadline can also help, sometimes it can also become the mortar holding those bricks together.
Where do your ideas come from?
Sunday, April 22, 2012
All she had to do was ask, he would be there for her no matter what if she would only ask. Jeremy was waiting for her to simply ask for help, he loved her and would hold on to her as long as she needed.
Brei didn’t know how to ask for help yet, she was still more comfortable in her darkness behind the security of the wall that she built around her heart. She knew Jeremy meant breaking down the wall that she spent so long building around her heart. Help was there but did she really know how to ask for it.
The darkness was her comfort, her security wall; Jeremy was a light invading the darkness and Brei wasn’t sure if that light brought safety or more fear.
“Come on, let's get some lunch.” his voice snapped her backed to reality.
" OK , but something light.” she didn’t think she could eat with her mind wandering.
“ The Snack Shack it is then. “ The new café has just opened on campus and offered a lighter faire, it also offered a quiet quaint atmosphere where she could get lost in her thoughts but still have the comfort of his presence
Friday, April 20, 2012
Each snow flake added another level.
Snowy nights wrap my mind in a cool white blanket,
Every snowflake inspires a new idea,
Where does it lead?
Thursday, April 5, 2012
No this is my opportunity to grow as a dancer, to show that even a classically trained dancer can express emotions.
“More Energy, more, is that too much? Let’s take 5 and start from the top”… his voice snapped her back to reality.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Darkness is such a save place for some. For this writer it has actually become my most inspiring place.
If I am surrounded by darkness, I am free of distractions, free to let go and join my cast of characters.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
I long for the day that I can stand strong and know that what I want to say will be heard by the people that need to hear it. I want to express my inner most thoughts without worrying who may be offended by my thoughts.
why after all these years to I worry about that so much. I am a writer and I know that I have a voice. While it may be a timid voice some days, other days it has the power of a thousand armies.
I want the courage I use to posses, the courage to stand strong in my conviction, the courage to not fear rejection, the courage to know in my heart of hearts that I am right.
Courage is a funny thing you know. It comes to you when you least expect it. Some days it comes to me as I write, like tonight as I sit here in the dark typing I feel the courage I need to write even this simple post. One day I will be able to write so much more.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Nanny wasn't sure they would make it, but she was giving it her best. Most evenings Mother and Father were off at some charity event while Nanny watched the boys. Mother and Father would return in time to check in on the boys tucked in their beds. The next morning it was again Nanny who would get the up and ready for the day.
Oscar being 7 was already in school full time so Nanny got him up first , helping him get his school uniform on and breakfast eaten before waking Jonathan up. Jonathan was only 4 and preschool was only 3 days and in the afternoon so there wasn't the strong push to get him ready. Nanny would get him up and dressed as Oscar was eating breakfast. Following Oscar's breakfast Nanny and Jonathan would walk Oscar the 9 blocks to the big brick building where he would spend the rest of the day.
Nanny walked Jonathan back to the house and set up his breakfast. Some morning Mother would join then for the late breakfast and let Jonathan tell her about his adventures. Nanny would pick up their bedroom and then play or read Jonathan a story to fill the time before lunch and preschool.
Nanny loved her boys and her boys loved her.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
As awful as most people would think that scenario, Addie was very content in her aloneness, at least for the time being.
Her days were full of reading scripts, editing, and rearranging scenes for various events; while her nights were spent quietly dreaming and working on her own project and dreaming of one day seeing her own production live on the stage. While this wasn't New York, she enjoyed the city life and for know the humming of a busy city outside her apartment window kept her company.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
I came across this fun weekly meme and thought it would be a fun list to share. Since I’m a homeschool Mom of 2 boys I don’t really get a chance to play “hooky” but I can still think of a pretty good list of books I want to read or re-read in some cases.
1. The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran This is a re-read but it is such a beautiful book that I could read it over and over again. I actually used it for a paper in college (I think we had to copy the style of a book or voice of an author, or something like that.)
2. The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster. This is a re-read too and a fun little book about a boy who is bored and doesn’t want to do anything about it.
3.Bound By the Heart by Marhsa Canhum
4. Clara’s Kitchen by Clara Cannucciari. This is an amazing little book of stories and recipes from the Great Depression; really makes you take an honest look at how we live today and realize it isn’t as bad as we would like to think.
5. Runaway Choices by Eisly Jacobs. I bought this Christian Fiction on Amazon a while ago and have been wanted to read it ever since. I love Christian Fiction and this one came with all5 star ratings. I am told it is adventure and intriqued combined with Christian themes
6. Child of the Mist by Kathleen Morgan. This is another Amazon find that I just haven’t gotten around to reading. I love Scottish historical fiction especially 1500-1700 era. This one stuck out for me as mystery, romance, and historical value. It comes with mixed reviews on Amazon but sometimes that is ok.
7. Valeria’s Cross by Kathi Macias (actually a collaboration). Early Christian Fiction set during the period before the fall of Rome.
8. Prose Works by Mary Baker Eddy As a student of Christian Science this is one of many books full of wisdom and insight.
9. Holiness Day by Day: Transformational Thoughts by Gerald Bridges a weekly devotional with daily passages, it is one I keep meaning to add to my mornings but just haven’t gotten around to it.
10.Love Amid the Ashes by Mesu Andrews is another Christian Fiction set during the early Old Testament surrounding Dinah and forgiveness. I’ve actually started this book but haven’t been able to get back to it.
An eclectic collection of books to be read, but that is how I roll.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
when I write here it may seem random , honestly mostly it is.. I see this as my notebook, a spot to share thoughts that come to mind. Some of my posts may seem more like post it notes and honestly sometimes it is easier to type out my thoughts than it is to find a post it note or notebook paper; and to be totally honest I wrote a opening chapter for a future project in a spiral notebook and then managed to lose the stupid notebook before I got it transferred to a blog or even a disk, so it really is easier to collect my ideas as blog posts.
Someday I plan on taking all these random thoughts and printing them out and piecing together the pieces of the puzzle that will be my future novel or story collection.
I hope you enjoy the randomness on my blogs and can catch a glimpse what goes on in my mind.